Self-Care

Episode 21: 5 Things Therapists Wish You Knew

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Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

I just got done recording this episode with Maryellen Dance, a licensed mental health counselor that I met years ago. We just recently reconnected in a local mastermind group and I just knew she was someone I wanted to bring on and share with you all. You’ve all heard me talk about therapy and what an important role it plays in my life, my development, my growth, my relationships and its funny because with me being so open about it, I really have seen how many preconceived notions we carry around about what it means to go to therapy, what qualifies us to have to go to therapy, etc, etc, -- so get excited, because this episode is jam packed full of good tidbits about what therapists wish you knew about therapy and how it might change your perception of who therapy is for, and how to go about getting started.

[1:20] Maryellen introduces herself and shares her story about where she was before she was a therapist, how she discovered she wanted to be a licensed mental health counselor and her journey in her career to where she is now.

[5:55] 1. Maryellen and I talk about the fact that therapy is for everyone. This might be the biggest misconception about therapy, that the only people who need therapy are people with serious mental health disorders and people who are currently in a state of crisis. However, Maryellen and I talk about how just how we maintain our wellness when we aren’t sick or our fitness when we aren’t overweight, it’s good for us to maintain our health, through therapy, even when we aren’t in a state of crisis.

[10:00] 2. We discuss the stigma that therapy is given due to Hollywood’s portrayal of it. Therapists want you to know that it’s not a cold process with an old man sitting behind you while you lay on a chaise lounge and just list all of your problems. For Maryellen and many other therapists, they start off with their clients by introducing themselves and helping them to feel comfortable and connected with their therapist.

[15:30] 3. Therapists want you to know that it really is up to you how often you attend therapy and that it can be variable depending on seasons of life. Sometimes during crisis, you may attend therapy weekly, and during times of maintenance, you may only choose to go once a month or even less frequently.

[17:30] 4. Maryellen stresses the importance of finding the right counselor for you. She also encourages us to keep looking for the right therapist even if the first or second one isn’t right for you. It’s worth it to find the person that you feel comfortable with. We also take a look at what you should look for in a therapist’s qualifications and where you can go to begin finding a therapist.

[21:00] I take us on a sidetrack to discuss virtual therapy, what it is, and why it might be helpful for certain people.

[23:30] 5. Therapists are real people. They aren’t perfect and they don’t want you to think they are. While it isn’t appropriate for them to disclose themselves to you, they do want you to understand their personalities and who they are enough that you are comfortable with them and that you understand they are people with problems, just like you.

[26:00] 6. We have a bonus point that is the fact that your therapist isn’t judging you. They have a desire to help you and they have seen all sorts of different situations. They are not sitting there judging you, and they want you to feel free to ask them for help, no matter what.

I hope you enjoyed this episode with Maryellen Dance, and I hope that we’ve been able to help you see therapy in a new light and given you some things to think about as you consider pursuing therapy in whatever capacity might be right for you right now. Be sure to connect with Maryellen on her social media channels or reach out to her via email if you have any questions.

Connect with Maryellen Dance

Email: maryellendance@gmail.com

Instagram: @maryellendance

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 19: Facing Rejection Therapy

Episode 17: The Power of Margin

Episode 8: Pursue You Picks: Do Less

Episode 4: The Antidote to FOMO

Episode 17: The Power of Margin

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Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

If you’ve heard me speak, you know that I LOVE being busy. I love activities, productivity, and efficiency. After four years of pregnancy and nursing babies, I was so excited for 2019 to ‘max out’ my life and jam pack as much possible into my life. And you don’t have to have had a human to have gone through this experience, it could have been from a sickness, challenging family situation, etc. but you might be able to relate to when you literally, physically cannot ‘max out’ your life the way that you think you have to in order to succeed. I knew that margin wasn’t a luxury, and I knew that it was a necessity, but I had no idea how to implement it in my life. I didn’t know how to go from my life of exhaustion, chaos, and a mindset of I have to be working, to having margin and rest. Learning this and creating this margin wasn’t easy for me, it was a process and a journey, but I’m going to share with you some questions to help you reflect on your current life so that you can design a life of margin in 2020.

[6:50] Question 1: What would your life have to look like so that you never felt like you needed a vacation? I challenge you to think on how your life would need to be designed so that when you had a scheduled vacation or self-care activity, you actually looked forward to it and were happy during the time leading up to it, rather than desperate and miserable. I encourage you to go back and listen to Episode 2, all about self-care for a refresher on what self-care really should be.

[17:25] Question 2: Where am I not being intentional about my time? I challenge you to get your planner, paper or digital, and time block every hour of your week. Include everything, even sleep. Then go back and see where you have empty time slots and areas where you aren’t being fully intentional with your time or wasting time you could be doing something more refreshing or productive.

[21:00] Question 3: What are you filling your margin time with? Once you’ve found even 10 minutes of margin in your day, how are you using that ten minutes? Are you wasting it on social media, or are you using it to rest, or to be with your kids, or to read a few more pages of that book you want to finish this month? Check your margin to make sure you’re filling it with things that are rejuvenating you.

I went from ZERO margin to being able to logistically create margin. I’ve been able to be absolutely okay with that margin in my soul, and I’ve grown from spending time reading and consuming amazing content instead of wasting time scrolling social media. I’ve been able to be more present with my family because I’m not running ragged and showing up every day being exhausted. Margin isn’t a luxury in our schedule, it’s a necessity. When we have margin and utilize it in a way that refills our bodies and souls, we have more to give! So, pursue margin, so that you pursue you, so that you can give the gift of your best self to your family, your community and your business.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you rerame the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 2: Why Self-Care is NOT the Answer…and What Is

Episode 3: 3 Reasons You’re Not Making Your First Hire

Episode 14: My Top 5 Personal Reads in 2019

Episode 15: My Top 5 Business Reads in 2019